How to Save Money on Toilet Paper

How We Roll - 52 Stories - Pt 1
Image by GorillaSushi via Flickr

…because we all use it and it costs money. It’s almost embarrassing the amount of money that goes into cleaning our unmentionables. And we use it everyday. Cutting down on the amount you spend on toilet paper will count every single time you tuck a newspaper under your arm and head into the john. Naturally, you’re going to want to pay attention to these tips – starting with my favorite:

Take (Umm, I Mean Borrow) Some Toilet Paper Home With You From School/Work/the Diner…

They have those giant rolls in every stall… just mountains upon metaphoric mountains of sort-of free toilet paper! Every time you use the loo, roll off a few extra squares for the road. Tuck them into your back pocket, your purse or your fanny pack for an inconspicuous get away. If some sticks to your shoe on the way out, just consider it a bonus.

Toilet Paper Coupons

 Possibly, I couldn’t get anymore obvious than toilet paper coupons. What do they pay me for?

Find coupons for all your paper product needs your local newspaper ad or search for online coupons below:

Wherever you find them, clip them, bring them, use them. Easiest way to save 10 cents.

Try Paper Napkins as a Replacement for Paper Tissue

If you use the term ‘paper tissue,’ that is. What are you, British? Or my mother, you could be my mother, you look just like her and she says that – “paper tissue.”
Moving on. You can get a whole pack of paper napkins for a dollar. They’re arguably just as effective and… they’re a dollar.

I get the decorative kind and hold my pinkie up while using them because I’m very posh.

Of course your neighborhood plumber likes you to use napkins as it becomes business for him when they clog.

Count Your Squares and Fold Them

Despite what Sheryl Crow might tell you, you don’t have to cut it down to 1 square of toilet paper per break. But, if you count each square you tear off and neatly fold them in order for maximum absorbency, you’ll be using a lot less than your days of aimlessly ripping through wadded handfuls of toilet tissue like you’re Godzilla.

I’m not going to tell you how many squares you should count it out to, just that the counting makes you more conscientious (OMG, I spelled it right on the first try) every step of the way.

Cost Saving Tip for the Brave:

If you’re a real cost-cutting, environment-saving adventurer, here are a bonus toilet paper money saving tip just for you.

Use cloth! Because it’s totally not weird keeping a bucket of fabric strips that have been used to clean your goods in your bathroom at all times.

Granted – it will save you money, the costs of laundering and your pride aside. You can buy yards of fabric for $1 – 5, depending on the type and the store. Once you buy your initial yard, or two, or three, depending on how many bathrooms you have in your house, you don’t have to keep buying it. Just wash it.

I know, I know… By using cloth you are swapping one environmental problem – tissue paper, for another, water and electrical usage for washer/dryer.

I bet it feels nicer, too. And when I say “I bet,” that’s because I am not that brave – and I probably pay a lot more for it, too. Try this tip and you’ll be saving enough for that dessert your girlfriend always wants but you “never have room for.”

Here is a Cost Cutting Comment That Work For Me

Assume your neighbors or friends are smart and have read this document on how to save money on toilet paper (and beer), and they are coming over to visit, and use your TP. How do you prevent their assault?  Here is what I say when I greet them at the front door. “Hey, you guys are early. I was just going to the store to buy some toilet paper since we just ran out. But I will wait until after you two leave as I want to spend time with you. Can I get you a beer?”

And while you’re in there, here’s another way that the man about the house can save some serious money . . .