Cost Coach Disclaimer Information
Cost Coach Disclaimer
Disclaimer… The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth – Do What I Say And You Gonna Be Rich*
Out of the first dozen or so emails I received when this site went up were comments like (besides, “What a chump.” “Are you kidding?” etc), “This the best web site disclaimer on the net,” and “Great web site disclaimer.” To which I humbly replied, “You’re right.”
First things first, you know, I don’t really care what you think about my site, but my wife, the uppity attorney, well, she does, and so I have to have this thing called a disclaimer. (Umm, just for me having to write this, I am going to add a BIG, BIG section on how to save lotsa’ money on an attorney – you can do like I did, marry one, but that comes with such a steep personal cost… I don’t suggest it.)
Anyways, these are my savings disclaimers. Just like Goldilocks and the three bears, I have attempted to give a version that is “just right” for you.
And, as a Cost Coach super-duper bonus, we will include our ironclad, legal proof, attorney defying web site disclaimer template at the end of this page.
Short version: Don’t be a dufus.
Medium version: Don’t be dufus and and any and all content, information, advice, subliminal messages, hidden Easter-eggs, Vulcan mind-melds or inferred “I am smarter than you” wording you find on this entire site is worth exactly what you pay for it – nothing.
Each page on the CostCoach.com is entirely crafted by the unemployed members of a former psychic network (who didn’t see their demise coming) or by people who have been through bankruptcy, lost their money by investing with Bernie Madoff, never earned enough money to actually have a viable checking account, people who think money is the root of all evil, people who think money should be free, people who think it is OK to print money, or writers who just love to “stick it to the man.” Sure, we may tell you what to do, how to think, what to believe and even what to say, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow our advice (You MUST follow our advice – NOW!)
Furthermore (gawd, I hate legalese sounding terms), according to some goodie-two-shoes from the FTC (who never has had a real world job) states that you, the visitor, aren’t smart enough to know that on our site, we may have off-site links affiliate links, advertisers who are stupid enough to pay us or even special offers that we beg you to click upon, so you better beware, you better know, you better understand, that this ENTIRE site is for (MY) entertainment purposes only. You are a guest only. I am not your advisor. Don’t believe a word I say (unless you want to go poor). Of course, this site has more honest content, valuable information, unbiased reviews and financial truths than almost any other site on the net.
Boring version: Don’t be a dufus. This provides information that is for your entertainment. Now some of you may think you are actually able to save money, lower expenses, cut costs, buy cheaper, do compairison shopping and more, but that requires work, skill, luck, and personal investment in order to produce any visible result. The average person (of course I don’t mean you, because normal people don’t read this), reviewing the cost savings information on Cost Coach will not put this system into action and receive any position benefit/savings/impact/whaterver. Like everything in life, it is up to you, and your own unique efforts, to determine the outcome. Neither CostCoach.com, nor any of its employees, authors, affiliates or associates or partners are offering free money, work-for-hire, money back guarantees, expense savings or any opportunity other than to learn from our valuable information, and put it to use in a manner you deem acceptable (this means get up off your b*tt and do it). You may not save any money at all, or even spend more money after learning how to do online comparison shopping and our other super secret buying tips. By watching any videos on the site (none of them are ours – it would cost too much to make) and/or becoming a customer, evangelist or even a happy camper of the ideas, tips, techniques, comments, (you get the idea) or using any part of this website, you agree to accept full and complete risk for however you may use the information offered herein, and agree to hold CostCoach.com its employees, authors, affiliates or associates and partners harmless against any claim of risk, liability or responsibility at any stage, now or in the future.
Additionally, I am entitled to 50% of all yours savings from the ideas I gave you – forever.
There! Take that Mr. FTC man! See… I am way, way more honest than you. I tell people not to dufusize themselves.
Even the comedian Dave Chapelle knows what can happen to you when you follow our advice.
*Subject to the disclaimer, of course.
The Cost Coach Website Legal Disclaimer Template
If you use it, please link back to us – thanks :)
They offer this comprehensive legal disclaimer template regarding the elements addressed should/can include (with comments from CostCoach.com in parens):
* Broad Liability Disclaimer Clause: (This first one has a lot of caps, it makes people believe it is really important and true) Limitation of Liability: IN NO EVENT WILL COSTCOACH.COM, ITS SUPPLIERS, WRITERS (mom and wife) OR OTHER THIRD PARTIES MENTIONED AT THIS SITE BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, THOSE RESULTING FROM LOST PROFITS, LOST DATA OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION, (including but not limited to heartaches, broken dreams, tears or bad attitudes) ARISING OUT OF THE USE, INABILITY TO USE, OR THE RESULTS OF USE OF THIS SITE, ANY WEBSITES LINKED TO THIS SITE, OR THE MATERIALS OR INFORMATION CONTAINED AT ANY OR ALL SUCH SITES, WHETHER BASED ON WARRANTY, CONTRACT, TORT OR ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY AND WHETHER OR NOT ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. IF YOUR USE OF THE MATERIALS OR INFORMATION FROM THIS SITE RESULTS IN THE NEED FOR SERVICING, REPAIR OR CORRECTION OF EQUIPMENT, SOFTWARE OR DATA, YOU ASSUME ALL COSTS THEREOF.
* Audio / Video Copyright Clause: If the CostCoach site has video or audio (we are not sure if we do or do not) but we hereby state that someone made and owns the copyright (It may even be us, and that the actors in the film are of age and the music doesn’t involve excessive “sampling”)
* Accurate Information Clause: CostCoach.com attempts to present the information contained on this site in a truthful and honest fashion (But, hey, we are trying to sell stuff, so be careful with what you read)
* Possible Errors Clause: Our data is deemed to be accurate, but errors additions, deletions and changes may occur (Don’t believe any statistics on the site. And, it is hard to be coherent when typing with beer)
* Any Inaccurate Statements Clause: Out of date and may contain inaccuracies or errors (We never update our site)
* No Liability Clause: CostCoach.com no liability with respect to any actions taken as a result of or in connection with viewing any information contained on the web site (In case you have forgotten, I don’t really care what you think about my site)
* External Links Clause: CostCoach.com may provide links to other external sites that we don’t own, control or influence (We can’t even check our own work, so how can we possibly check the work of others) The FCC says, “This Internet site contains hypertext links to information created and maintained by other public and private organizations. These links are provided for your convenience. We do not control or guarantee the accuracy, relevance, timeliness or completeness of this outside information. Further, the inclusion of links to particular items in hypertext are not intended to reflect their importance, nor is it intended to endorse any views expressed or products or service offered on these outside sites, or the organizations sponsoring the sites.”
* Implied Success Clause: Information on CostCoach.com does not constitute offers to sell or promote products (But we want you to buy anyways). CostCoach.com and any of its employees, authors, affiliates or associates or partners are not offering you anything at all other than to visit and read our content. Any earnings or savings associated with the site requires work (this means get up off your b*tt and do it), skill, luck, and personal investment in order to produce any visible result (In fact if you made any money off our site, let us know how you did it so we can too)
* Access for People with Disabilities Clause: CostCoach.com tries to make site accessible to all people with all handicaps (But we can’t make the site easy to use for all morons). The FCC states, “The FCC is committed to making the electronic technologies we deploy accessible to individuals with disabilities. In this effort, we work with the Access Board, an independent Federal agency devoted to accessibility for people with disabilities. The Access Board established Federal standards for electronic and information technology under Section 508 of the Rehabilitation Act. We incorporate Section 508 compliance testing in the design, development and maintenance of our website.” (Section 508? Sounds like Area 51)
* The “Be Nice” Clause: You will always be treated with courtesy and can expect these Standards of Customer Service when interacting with us. (Hey, dufus, this means you)
* Privacy Statement: CostCoach.com may gather data on web site usage, such as how many people visit the site, the sections they visit, what time they visit, how long they stay (“We control the horizontal, we control the vertical…”) Furthermore, we respect your privacy and will protect it (If you can find our privacy statement on our site – we have hidden it because it is private) The FCC states, “We respect your right to privacy and will protect it when you visit our website. The FCC collects no personal information about you when you visit our website unless you specifically and knowingly choose to provide such information to us. If you choose to provide information to us, we use it only to fulfill your request for information or services.”
* Copyright Clause: The materials on CostCoach.com are protected under U.S. copyright law and international treaty (We copied the site from someone else, but we don’t want you to do the same). No right or license to copy is provided without the express prior written consent of CostCoach.com (If we catch you). CostCoach.com only authorizes you to view and download single copies of the materials at this Site solely for your personal, non-commercial use (You know we can’t stop you from copy and pasting).
* All Rights Reserved Clause: All other rights are reserved by CostCoach.com. The names, trademarks, service marks, and logos of CostCoach.com appearing on this CostCoach.com site may not be used in any manner that indicates CostCoach.com’s sponsorship of or affiliation with any product, service, company, or organization without CostCoach.com’s express prior written consent.
* Legal Notice: If you require legal or other expert advice, you should seek the services of a competent attorney, a qualified prison consultant, or other licensed professional (In other words, don’t rely on this site)
* User Generated Content Clause: If you submit any material, information or other communication or post to our site it will be considered non-confidential and non-proprietary. (This means we will use it on our site without paying you for it)
Lastly, (well, almost) we also have the Santa “Clause,” where we share with you how not to get screwed when negotiating a business deal.
Hey, in full disclosure, we copied a lot of this from the FCC web site
And, finally, our footnote to our disclaimer about FCC Website Policies.
* Site does not contain content that could be construed as unlawful, distasteful or offensive. (Especially since we think it is funny)